Great Unexpectations

I've been so surprised at how well I have felt, despite measuring 40 weeks pregnant. I got a little prideful in the fact that despite everyone telling me I wouldn't be comfortable enough to work past July, I felt good enough to sign up for more shifts this week.

On Sunday night, after a very fun filled weekend, I started to have a lot of Braxton Hicks while having dinner with some friends. When I got home, I was concerned they were getting stronger, so I laid down and drank a couple tall glasses of water...and they continued to get worse. Complete panic began to set in.

"The babies are still breech! They may be born tonight! I'm not ready for a natural or surgical delivery tonight! I'm not prepared mentally for any of this! And I have no control over my body to tell it to stop tightening up! I'm not ready!"

After three contractions in a row, each three minutes apart and lasting almost a minute each, Samuel proceeded to drive me 80 mph down a dark country road with a speed limit of 60. We made it to the hospital in record time, and managed to not hit one of 15 or so deer that we saw on the side of the road (which I hardly noticed because my wide eyes were on the clock counting my contractions that continued to  be at 3 minute intervals).

I continued to have contractions every 3 minutes, each more intense. After receiving a muscle relaxant and some IV fluids, the contractions finally settled down! We were very thankful that the boys were not delivered on Sunday night. I am still in the hospital hoping to be discharged today. The good news is that they are now about 33 weeks along, which although would mean time in a NICU, also means that they are developed enough now that they shouldn't have any serious complications.

I think I do a lot better when I'm not the one in the hospital bed.

It's amazing how quickly Fear can completely overwhelm me at times: the fear of the unknown, the fear of loss of control, fear of not being prepared for what may come, fear of the reality that life is a very fragile thing. When I realized that my contractions were getting worse despite rest and water, I began to really panic. But oh what sweet freedom we have in Christ. Samuel and I prayed in the car ride to the hospital, submitting to God all control over the situation, realizing that we had none. We asked Him to be present with us and to give us a peace despite the unknown. We thanked Him for the goodness He had already shown us in so many ways.

As we walked into the hospital, I was a completely different person. I had such a peace that I didn't have even ten minutes before. My heart was settled. Even though I wasn't in control, my creator and the creator of our children was.

1 John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in you, than He that is in the world."